When I joined college in Gandhinagar I was intimidated by all the fellows from North who on an average were at least 2-3 years older than me. If it was to be believed few students were already married by the time we were admitted. Andhra Pradesh compensates for its latitude quite comprehensively with the number of students admitted into prestigious institutes in the country and settles the score with the states in the Northern part of India. I was always asked if, on birth of a child, parents from A.P. performed the customary ritual of rolling a dice to decide the education of a student having already booked admissions when the lady has a bun in the oven. I, being not the sharpest tool in the shed back then (nothing much has changed over the years), smiled from ear to ear wondering if Northies were awestruck by our speed.
Parents here have the propensity to push children so that they can establish records for cramming maximum number of highly repeated questions in EAMCET or can solve esoteric problems for appearing in JEE. Talking of speed my batch at college was called 'Fast Track Batch' though most of us were slow to understand what we were really fast at. I cleared my rack three days ago. Among the findings were few untouched text books by Russian authors with authentic names like Irodov and Dorofeev. I've nothing against Russians. I like Mendeleev's periodic table, I love Leo Tolstoy's style of writing and without Samuel Born I could not have sucked on so many lollipops but clearly during my intermediate education the love for Russians was lost. These books hardly costed me 40 bucks each - boy what do/did these authors survive on.
I particularly remember Mr. Koundinya whose careful consideration of the number line often stuck lots of chalk on his hands. He certainly found some mystic pleasure in smearing it all over his sweaty face. Our physics lecturer rarely had a soporific effect on us. He had this typical accent and I loved his hand shivering act whenever he described anything that went 'yagenest gravity'. Surely he contributed to half the chalk piece budget of the entire college breaking each chalk while pointing to harmonic pendulums or projected vectors all over the shop.
More priceless findings from the rack were grotesque pieces of art on multiple pages which could easily compete with Greek art (with due respect to their fetish for phalli) and our efforts at uniting transcendental forces of Maths, Physics and Chemistry with the use of semiotic relevance to satisfy our day to day needs. Eg: Two Hydrogen atoms next to each other with only orbits while the electrons were sent on a trip to Malibu.
I cannot give you a blow-by-blow account of how this transpired but on one fine day I must have compiled this Mathematical Menu in a hungry mood. Please digest the following.
Mathematical Menu
Functional Foods: Relational Rice, Surdy Sambhar, Calculus Curry, Corollary Curd
Tangential Tiffins: Inductive Idli, Logarithmic Laddu, Binomial Bonda, Partial Puri, Exponential Egg, Algebraic Omlette, Trigonometric Tea, Hyperbolic Halwa, Co-ordinative Candy, Subset Samosa, Differential Dosa, Rotational Roti, Principle Paratha, Matrix Mixture
Conjugative Cool Drinks: Complex Coke, Proportional Pepsi, Locus Limca, Straight Sprite, Fractional Fanta, Geometrical Gold Spot
Derivative Drinks: Linear Lassi, Combinative Coffee, Harmonic Horlics, Variational Viva, Modulus Maltova, Bisective Boost
On being twenty one last year and two posts ago I was very confused as to where life would take me. I was in a different zone - mental and geographical. That zone was surrounded by lots of emotion and even more uncertainty. I was trying to complete my final year project at DA-IICT, I was supposed to do it real fast, my dad was on campus, I had to get permissions to get into my next course. I could have talked about all of these but right then the only thought on my mind was 'parathas'. Conspicuously, from the post, I guess my brain responded to only three things - importantly parathas, partly 'Kurkure' and thirdly parathas. But why am I talking about parathas even today remains a valid question because I haven't eaten even one hundredth of the figure stated after coming back to Hyderabad. Carbohydrate diet. More weight.When I even utter the word 'paratha', invariably people here think I'm saying 'badcow'. Since I'm a good boy, probably the gooddest, I don't indulge in profanities. So I quit on parathas.
Life's taken a U turn though ('figuritively' as Captain Jack Sparrow unfailingly describes). It feels good to be back in the city. It feels good to take initiatives. It feels not so good to work hard but I keep reminding myself how bad I'll feel if I don't. So that's obviously - a little more care when I deal with choices. My parting's taken a lateral inversion and my beard surfaces once in a while (prominently). It could have been more hassle free but even Rome was not built in an year. (Yes ! You are mistaken. I know the actual maxim. You've been conned into believing your version.)
I've probably forgotten half of the 'Beggar's Word List' I used to have on my fingertips an year ago. Sad, but yes, I have not forgotten the meaning of the word 'partisan' (meaning a skilled worker who practices some trade or handicraft) because I had conceived ingenious ways to retain the meaning. I specially made sure I did not confuse it with 'artisan' (which means an ardent and enthusiastic supporter of an event or an activity). If you need tips with memory power feel free to contact me but I've recently taken a new SIM card and I don't remember the new phone number. So you have to be patient until I find it out and post it on the blog.
People watch in awe as I succesfully place myself in my seat from day to evening without moving at all which is why I think they remember me by the cute terms - 'Fungus', 'Placement Representative'. I've turned into a strike bowler in cricket. I open the bowling for my team on the ground. Every bowler has his bad day and being candid I'll say that I was once hit for 79 runs in my first over. But discarding that event my record has been pretty good. Rarely I've given more than 32 runs in my 3 over spell.
After last year's summer, rainy season in Ahmedabad was pretty inviting. Let me see how Hyderabad gels with rains.
Sivaji first half: 2/5
Sivaji second half: 45/50
So that's pretty much 47/55 :)
Here at IIIT, in the MSIT program, students are trained, bussed, carred and shipped in both technical and personal skills. All the personality development rigmarole started off when students started communicating even simple things in syntaxes and execrable technical jokes.
Samples (STATUTORY WARNING: Prerequisites - An emergency number, A letter signed that this post is nowhere responsible for medical emergencies if any)
Said: Arey did you see the movie DON ?
Replied: No I Java'd it
(Smug smile as if appreciating his sense of humor)
Said: Shit I have to go home tomorrow and I cannot pack these clothes.
Replied: Use Winzip raa. Compress.
(Master of sarcasm. It is just another service he offers)
Said: This time on Valentine's day I've to propose this girl so that she won't ever forget.
Replied: Me, me, me. I've got an idea. Just say "#include meinyourlife.h". System.out.println("I love you");
(Oh yes oh yes she definitely won't forget now. duh !)
Said: OK Boss. I installed the software. Now press any key to return.
Replied: I know. But I cannot find the 'Any' key on my keyboard.
(Cleverrrrr boyyy. That's it ! Can't take any more sarcasm.)
It's surprising as to how even after all these mind-numbing abominable crackers we don't hurt each other except in Counter Strike.
During our weekend presentations we receive a lot of feedback. After the respective presentations students are often told not to clench fists, not to palpitate, not to scratch armpits and specifically not to do the moonwalk. Initially lots of us had verbal handles. More often than not the sentence would be
"That means like obvious they.. that means if you but and also... Next Slide please."
"The bluetooth is blue.. blue.. blue.. bluetooth. You can transfer files, images, files, songs, files, games and files also.... Next Slide please."
Sometimes students just read lines off the slides and you cannot understand what point they are driving home.
1. The government should try and create more opportunities, services, murderers, rapists, anti - social elements.
2. And terrorists could be really be an obstruction to development and destruction.
3. And disturbances should not be practised by the youth and
4. Citizens should contribute to the government and the end.
Thank You
While you sit there trying to decipher where the statements started and ended you leave commonsense beside and instead - think of complex artificially intelligent ways to separate these lines through sophisticated context oriented speech processing multi-platform architecture driven algorithms.
The other day there was a question in our Writing Assessment.
Is there a solution for working mothers ? (and I promptly replied)
I'm sorry. I haven't been one and I cannot suggest.
Meanwhile the feminists of the class had already called upon a meeting, organized themselves into two teams (consisting of one member each) and broke down this seemingly obfuscating question into the solution by analzying the requirements, designing the implementation and testing the results. (DISCLAIMER: No coding conventions violated in the process)
I'm sure that none of you are interested in what those solutions might be any way.
Oh and finally I did come up with the solution to my incoherent perception during presentations.
1. The government should try and create more opportunities, services.
2. Murderers, rapists, anti-social elements and terrorists could really be an obstruction to development.
3. Destruction and disturbances should not be practised by the youth.
4. Citizens should contribute to the government.
The End
Thank You
All of this, thanks to my sophisticated context oriented speech processing multi-platform architecture driven algorithms.
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