Rightfully, I should not be upto this. But looks like I might miss these things forever if not written now. In addition to that, people are solicited with this strange absence of new posts on my blog. Far-fetched ? It's upto you to decide. So where do I start from ? There are a lot of things that have happened in the last fortnight. Unfortunately my memory does not serve me to an extent where I can jot down all the significant incidents of the period. Sometimes, I think that very less happens at a university hostel to write at a blog. There are also ocassions on which I think I'm actually missing most of the things which causes me to feel there is inadequate material for the blog. For example, for the past week, there have been things that directly qualify to be here, but God knows what happens with me, strangely I remember those things all the time except when I'm writing my blog. I think I'll get back to writing my blog everyday.
Well for now, exams are here. I guess, the statement is self-explanatory without any need of some articulate elaboration on that. There was a Three Thinkers presentation yesterday which I'm very happy about because there was no messing with my Flash. All the presentations have been very educative, not in the sense of informative, but reminding me on how life has changed from "The Alien and Me" school essays to more serious forethoughts, afterthoughts, thoughts all about tranformations of societal beliefs, history, philosophy, everything synonymous and antonymous, the way people start thinking about religious, scientific, politicial issues. It's about the wide spectrum of things that humans tend to be concerned about as they age. I was very lucky to find a group, specially when the presentation was imminent, thanks to Sudhir and Varun for letting me in. Shiv thinks I've made his life miserable, but I believe it was rightful to own myself about the attendance at lectures. Rajeev had a tough time. He did nothing but stuttering. And again Akshat amazes me by his ability to speak. I'm very sad I did not get a chance to speak. No one can be put to blame in this matter though.
This Reliance India Mobile pisses me off. I've every clarification made to the service centre that my bills are paid, the fellows at the Web World have even handed me the receipt but these fellows refuse to activate my outgoing service. Firstly it should never have been annulled. That reminds me about the humor of the situation about this tiff between the junior Ambanis. For the uninitiated, I'm from the Dhirubhai Ambani Institute of Information and Communication Technology. Some students and friends of mine here have been attending phone calls where callers seem to be worried about the future of our institute. I do not think at all that it could be a matter of concern to us. All the furore is noteworthy though. It started of with the impression of a wild rumor, then Mukesh declares it's only in their private domain, as usual the media adds spark to the matter as a result of which numbers at stock exchanges fell and the whole story came out. Mrs.Dhirubhai refuses to intervene. Anil has remained silent all the time hoping that people would surely appreciate his silence. Mukesh has been acting a little weird. There have been ads in major newspapers asserting his bossmanship. Thank god, he did not start sending short messages to every Reliance mobile user to indicate the same. I do not really know but some say Anil has every right to question Mukesh for there is no will regarding the ownership. Dad says Anil might be partially responsible for the whole issue. The news is that Anil has been developing political relations which Mukesh thinks is not a good idea and may not prove fruitful with the major party where Anil has been involved being Samajwadi (anti-Congress ?). There's a notion that a businessman of such stratum must return home after his daily work instead of all these things. Looks like Anil has also agreed to some fuel supply for which a really long pipeline project could start in Uttar Pradesh which might not fetch some countable profits. Media has been portraying this issue with its regular way of exciting people. I hate it when newspapers accuse saying "Such and such a celebrity is angry with the media for spreading such and such rumors which have tainted their reputation". Shameless are those reporters who pretend to be innocuous and not the part of the media they are presently talking about.
My UCD project is still stagnant, it made no real progress, but I'm hopeful of completing within three days after the exams if Akshat is going to lend a hand. After that is the vacation, yeah with every day being a busman's holiday. Ironies of life. I have half my internship left to complete this December. Some of my old friends, whom I've re-established a contact with, are planning to organize meets. We might pay a visit to our school. Some of us might even go to Mega Study Circle, the place where I've had my coaching for the IIT-JEE examination. I think Shiva will be very angry with me for the most lazy attempts I've made to be in touch with him. I even forgot to wish him on his birthday. I mean it's not really a big sentimental deal but with friends so intimate it does make a difference ocasssionally. This vacation is going to keep me completely busy.
I've to look forward to either CAT or GRE coaching next semester. I'm also planning to take a separate room with Raj and Yashwant outside this hostel. I'm sick of this. But who knows ? It's still a tentative decision, always subject to change. Just like it goes, I hope I'll do well in my next semester. There has always been inspiration but not sufficient action. Inspiration and irony remind me of the last time when I did half my internship at Gachibowli. Sometimes life plays this game of dice with expertize. Last May everyday I used to pass through two important places twice everyday during journey. One of them is IIIT,Gachibowli which used to remind me of Tejo, I was always expecting him but never met him. The other one is Whisper Valley at which I used to smile with thoughts reminiscent of my old days and Divya. I always used to think Ruchir was fooling around trying to convince me about the existence of a place called Whisper Valley in Hyderabad, to my surprise every bit of what he said was true. The first time I faced the corroboration I was like preparing myself to jump out of the bus to reaffirm it.
Wait a minute, did I say inspiration and irony ?? I must confess that I'm hugely inspired by few people. Dad is the first on my positive list.It's not Einsteins and Newtons that really ignite in me a hope to succeed. Right now my idols are Bharat, my classmate at the university for his never ending and proper shots at any task given to him. Then comes Divya. Reasons ?? Lots of them. Everytime I read her blog, know more about her I say "She simply rocks. She's the best". I could write pages about her now, I'm not trying to flatter anyone, I'm honest as the salt of the earth. Did I deviate ? Back to the irony stuff.
Exactly when I came back to the institute after the internship I got their contacts from Orkut. Why oh why did I not get to know about the website just a month before ? These are people I've been longing to meet. To be optimistic I should be happy saying "Better late than never". This December in process of our meets, I'm going to meet Tejo for sure. I shall not speak about the second person though, I cannot allow myself to do that presently. AM to PM transition has taken place. Exams... I have to run.
"Never do this to me. Don't ever do this to me. Baby !!". It's like this song was scheduled to hit me right now. This is exactly on my mind presently. I am a person who's influenced very easily. Someone comes up to me and says it's good, I nod my head in agreement. Then there's a person, who opposes it, who talks, I nod my head in agreement. I'm still confused whether it's either the result of lack of opinion or because I find good in everything I see. It's been days since I've found bad in things that haven't affected me adversely. That doesn't mean I am a bloody egoist. I am concerned about everyone but I believe one wouldn't stand up to his actions if he thought they were bad. So, slowly I'm dragging myself into How do you define bad ? debate but I don't want to go any further as I've already deviated a lot from the first line.
The influence issue. It's like this - I see a pauper, I feel thankful for having myself in a self-sufficient state. I see someone partying all day, I get jealous, it's rather sad than jealous. Then it's only hours before I cut the crap out and say Why do I even have to care about it ?. This happens every 19 in 20 times. But the other one time lands me in the doldrums. I keep thinking indefinitely until someone just knocks me over to get me into my proper senses. I read this Diwali Dhoom at Whisper Valley, Hyderabad thing that makes me all the more homesick. I have not celebrated the last two Diwalis, they seem to pour these potions of distress down my throat. Alright, this was intended to make the last sentence a bit flowery but don't care about it. Somehow Diwali is just not fun if I'm not celebrating it at home. i wonder if anyone came up with the idea of teleporting, I would pay anything for it as long as its something I can pay for it. (Well, while I'm at composing there's this song from Arya I'm listening to which I really enjoy. That too half-situational I guess.) I had to create chances for me to go home for Diwali this time which I failed at. I would have regretted it for the next few minutes. Thanks to Vamsi, he's put a good music playlist in here that does get me the least bothered about it now. I'm just not able to put this whole Diwali thing on the back burner, it's hitting me hard. I'll be more than glad to have my reasons for not going home accomplished before the next five days. That is precisely when my vacation is coming to an end before I'm back to mourning for its completion. I need to bend my back a bit if I wish to make the next December worth spending at home.
We had a football match yesterday. We eventually won it 3-2, of course after a huge controversy on the third goal scored. Chaitanya scored a hatrick for our team to sail us to victory. I was the goalkeeper, a bit of nuisance in the middle game I proved to be with giving away a goal for free and risking almost everything even before it. One of my very bad days in front of the goal but what matters in the end is that we won. Uday, my counterpart did an excellent job but I wonder if my team was too good for him. There was no goal scored in the first half for full thirty five minutes. We had no substitutes planned that had the forwards of the game resting on the ground for a while to recuperate from the spurts of fatigue in the final moments of the second half. Arvind and Shikhar scored one each for the opponents. Pavan and Havish were referees for the match.
I watched Shrek 2 and Back to the Future (again and only God knows when I'll be bored of these). I love both of them. Usually sequels are meant to be not as gripping as the first of them but both of these are quite contrary to this belief. Christopher Lloyd who plays Dr. Emmett Brown in the latter movie is absolutely amazing. He reminds me of Jim Carrey. I like the movie not for the routine time travel issue but for the decent storyline it has and loads of humor that comes for free. The whole movie tries to depict the paradoxes of time travel in a rather subtle manner. I'm waiting for the movie club to screen its sequels. Shrek, our very own ogre-next-swamp is hugely entertaining, you can take my word for it. I love the scene in the movie where all the fairy tale characters try to rescue Shrek from the dungeon. The music in the background is the MI-2 Limp Bizkit one. It's a whole mess when Pinocchio's nose grows. After the movie there were short scenes that are not in the original one (DVD privileges). It's about the Far Far Away Idol with Simon Cowell giving company to Shrek and Fiona as judges. The crowd just roared when the dragon comes back with its offspring to meet her lovable donkey. It's time for dinner. Goodbye one and all.
I'll whine from alpha to omega of this one.It's been days since I lied down on the bed facing the roof in a pensive mood listening to only the pounding heart, feeling only sorrow and misery. Even an hour ago I had worries in my life to bother me. But something seems to have amplified them the last thirty minutes. I am sure what that something is but I can't tell people simply because I do not want to be the reason for anyone's disgrace, that too primarily when the person who caused this state did not in anyway intend to do it to me but I'm strangely influenced by the events of its life. I am facing a very confusing situation right now. I have fit myself in a predicament. I am happy for the person who seems to find joy in everything it does presently but at the same time it reminds me that I'm perfectly devoid of certain things I desire. The person is just perfect. From all I now know of it, my opinion is based widely on its lifestyle and its way of thought, this time I'm sure this is not infatuation but a sincere sense of critical appreciation. Everything has its own cost and if luck has not knocked your door, just forget it. I still wish I could curse the person for turning all the more intelligent and caring than I'd think. There was one time when I tried to put these things back but the person re-entered. Then followed a long hiatus, but in the end the sour grapes grow on every tree on these roads I happen to pass through. I'd give anything to know whether having fulfilled my wish to know more about the person should make me regret or inspire me.
Have I already missed a lot in my life ? Or have I lost them ? Can I actually claim that I lost or missed them considering that they never belonged to me ? Its company is the only thing I'm asking for though it is unfair, not properly based and I don't deserve it. But still I crave. I'm fighting my conscience on ocassions more than one everyday. The devil has seized me by its iron first. I'm its workshop. I'm his bungalow (multi-millionaire style), offering him all comforts in this plush residence. The devil has stolen his way into here to leech the happiness out of my soul which he is a master at, I now appraise his talents unquestionable. Why am I hiding me from myself ? I know I'm running madly after things I'll not achieve in this life caring only for the ephemeral joys of this quest. I'm madly in love with those things. I've lost control. I'm waiting for my guardian angels to steer me to safety and bliss.The frowning expression on my face has considerably subsided while writing this article, asserting my decision to be busy in order to forget all the negatives that I'm currently trying to emphasize to myself. I guess I should stop writing right now, so that this feeling still roams around the lanes of my mind, because when I'm perfectly satisified or rather when there are things I can get adjusted to, I waste time and that's the only thing I do.
I am not aware of what I am trying to convey here, but thanks to my typing skills, I'll keep blabbering like this until I'm bored of this crap or until I find solace. I watched the whole video section again through out the early hours of today. LP Videos, Limp Bizkit ones and few others I found interesting. I found the waypoint to Worldstone Keep Level 2 in Diablo and was happy about it. I played an Andariel run for some time, hung on like grim death drank a full rejuvenation potion and got rid of her in the nightmare level only costing me two complete columns of health but giving me only a set item from Tancred's Battlegear which is supposed to demand a high level for its usage but does not necessarily translate into a very useful set item. Now I feel like (takes a really long pause and then writes) I should not give importance to emotional attachments or I'll have my life ruined, half of it already being devastated. I feel like I am mauled. I feel a thunderbolt being driven into my head. I can feel the pain dying away now, but I wish I was dead instead. No, I'm not talking about suicide. My notion of this dead is differently pleasurable. Again, the idea of pleasure is a contradiction because the notion conveys a wish to vanish into thin air, I wish I never existed. I am right now of no use to anyone but the hope that I might be is the only reason for my survival. At least I'm happy I'm still an optimist in spite of all the disaster that seems to have casted its gloomy shadow on my life. Fine, I thought I was ending this melodrama scene, but Raghu has already noticed the dour expressions on my face and has asked me twice if anything's wrong. I can't hide them. The very feelings are so intense, I'm just slouching into the chair and watching the monitor with my fingers playing on the keyboard.
I took photographs of all the Rangoli people happened to create for the contest here and I'm planning to upload them. All the floor art is laudable. There should not have been a first prize because everything was perfect in its own way. Getting into the volleyball court is a tough act now with teams increasing gradually waiting for their turn to play the others. It's time to hang the CLOSED notice board on my Whining Parlor.
One month more for the semester to go. There's already enough hullabullah in the hostel to keep up with. The seniors will go out to do their respective projects. People planned to give a good farewell party but realised that it was too early to do that, so they put this one on the back burner. The new hostel management council is already active. They've organised a few interesting events. People seem to be expecting more of them. At least I am. There is also a proposal for a proper student government. The professors and students have been on the hop to help its creation. There was Tug of War event days ago which I regret missing. I saw my name in the list of participants only after the event was over. How sad ?. I was literally cursing myself for having missed out on it. Look what our Hero Naresh had to speak about my absence - We were not expecting you at the event, and as expected you did not turn up. I surely was embarassed by this witty remark. There was also a Marathon organized before it which I was surely incapable of completing, so I never bothered about it.
We lost our first clan match. Everything was disorganized and the last thing I needed was an unplanned match. Alright, I agree that every player was not ready for the match. But we were playing our first match and our team's co-ordination was zilch. Some of them never got to know what our positions were. Madhu definitely took a hasty decision. We lost to PoD clan 13-8. We scored 7-5 on the terrorist game. But we performed very badly as counter-terrorists resulting in a score of 1-8. We're looking forward to some proper Counterstrike. We're playing Diablo II as well, hoping to continue our characters to completion of Hell level. The other guys are close to killing Baal in the Nightmare level. It's consuming a lot of time, so right now I give it a low priority. I might continue it with Vamsi in the forthcoming semester break. Right now, I have to strongly concentrate on my academics.
I hear that there are some quarrels in Hyderabad right now, due to the recent Gujarat police intervention in the city affairs. Veerappan is killed and I'm waiting for Divya to tell me her secret conceptions of the incident. India lost a home series to Australia after three decades with Sachin's return making no whatsoever effect on the team's dismal performance. Australia has been dominating like ever. Adam Gilchrist is surely lucky, but Ricky Ponting looks like he's never going to miss the chance of being the winning captain of the series. The third test match will start from today, in which we have to salvage some pride by winning it. If it ends in a draw, this'll be a bad series for India. They got very close to winning the second test before rain washed out the last day, leaving no hopes of victory. Hope we perform better and the players get out of the rusty form they currently find themselves in.
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