Have I already missed a lot in my life ? Or have I lost them ? Can I actually claim that I lost or missed them considering that they never belonged to me ? Its company is the only thing I'm asking for though it is unfair, not properly based and I don't deserve it. But still I crave. I'm fighting my conscience on ocassions more than one everyday. The devil has seized me by its iron first. I'm its workshop. I'm his bungalow (multi-millionaire style), offering him all comforts in this plush residence. The devil has stolen his way into here to leech the happiness out of my soul which he is a master at, I now appraise his talents unquestionable. Why am I hiding me from myself ? I know I'm running madly after things I'll not achieve in this life caring only for the ephemeral joys of this quest. I'm madly in love with those things. I've lost control. I'm waiting for my guardian angels to steer me to safety and bliss.The frowning expression on my face has considerably subsided while writing this article, asserting my decision to be busy in order to forget all the negatives that I'm currently trying to emphasize to myself. I guess I should stop writing right now, so that this feeling still roams around the lanes of my mind, because when I'm perfectly satisified or rather when there are things I can get adjusted to, I waste time and that's the only thing I do.
I am not aware of what I am trying to convey here, but thanks to my typing skills, I'll keep blabbering like this until I'm bored of this crap or until I find solace. I watched the whole video section again through out the early hours of today. LP Videos, Limp Bizkit ones and few others I found interesting. I found the waypoint to Worldstone Keep Level 2 in Diablo and was happy about it. I played an Andariel run for some time, hung on like grim death drank a full rejuvenation potion and got rid of her in the nightmare level only costing me two complete columns of health but giving me only a set item from Tancred's Battlegear which is supposed to demand a high level for its usage but does not necessarily translate into a very useful set item. Now I feel like (takes a really long pause and then writes) I should not give importance to emotional attachments or I'll have my life ruined, half of it already being devastated. I feel like I am mauled. I feel a thunderbolt being driven into my head. I can feel the pain dying away now, but I wish I was dead instead. No, I'm not talking about suicide. My notion of this dead is differently pleasurable. Again, the idea of pleasure is a contradiction because the notion conveys a wish to vanish into thin air, I wish I never existed. I am right now of no use to anyone but the hope that I might be is the only reason for my survival. At least I'm happy I'm still an optimist in spite of all the disaster that seems to have casted its gloomy shadow on my life. Fine, I thought I was ending this melodrama scene, but Raghu has already noticed the dour expressions on my face and has asked me twice if anything's wrong. I can't hide them. The very feelings are so intense, I'm just slouching into the chair and watching the monitor with my fingers playing on the keyboard.
I took photographs of all the Rangoli people happened to create for the contest here and I'm planning to upload them. All the floor art is laudable. There should not have been a first prize because everything was perfect in its own way. Getting into the volleyball court is a tough act now with teams increasing gradually waiting for their turn to play the others. It's time to hang the CLOSED notice board on my Whining Parlor.
